"I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-C-E do you know what that means?"
Let's talk independence and especially independence of kids. Who doesn't want all kids to grow up to be independent? But why is it so hard as adults to have students practice independence before we say "okay go do it on your own now!".
I have been thinking about this a lot with my students lately as I think about vocational skills and what school or life looks like for them after they leave me.
The conclusion I came to? They are WAY too dependent on me.
Who doesn't want to be needed, right? I sure like to feel needed, but at what point does that also mean I am inhibiting my students from being able to learn how to be independent without me?
Still not very clear? No worries. The idea in my head was fuzzy for a long time until one day when I was taking my students to the next location they needed to go. I noticed they were a few paces behind me. I realized in that moment as I was looking back at them to make sure they were following me, that not very often (if at all) are they leading the way to where they need to go. They are ALWAYS following me.
So of course, in that moment, I changed what I was doing to see what would happen if the roles were reversed.
What would they do if I told them the location and had them walk in front of me to get there?
They. Just. Stood. There.
No amount of encouragement, pointing in the correct direction, or waiting them out led to them taking one step in any direction as long as I was behind them. As soon as I moved in front of them a few paces they happily moved with me.
Later that day I stopped and thought about it more. I realized that I have never put them in a true position to lead the way to a location, so of course they looked at me like a CRAZY person when I switched the roles on them. Simply put, I was not putting them in a position to be independent, rather I was ensuring they would be dependent on me.
From that day on I decided that I would, as much as possible, have them lead the way and hope that along the way they would become comfortable with leading and in turn develop more independence skills.
*If walking in the hallway is something your kids have mastered, as you continue reading think about what area(s) they could be more independent in
I started making these small changes:
- Verbally telling my students where we were going (even if it was the same thing every day). I hoped that eventually they would associate what I was saying with the location we arrived at. I then said the location name again when we arrived.
- Asked them which way we had to go to reach the new location. This helped me ensure that we were going to start off in the right direction and gave us a chance to practice directional language (left, right, straight, etc.).
- Had them walk in front of me. This is the hardest but most important aspect of this plan. I needed them to know it's safe to lead the way and that I am not far behind (it really is an exercise in trust). Eventually I hope they will feel confident enough to do it without me, but baby steps.
That's it. OH, and LOADS of practice. This is not a skill that is going to come easily or fast, but I believe is SO important for our kids to learn and develop over time. We are trying to change how they have been operating for a long period of time- from a role of following to leading.
Additional considerations if you are going to attempt to try this out with your students:
- Give yourself PLENTY of time to get from point A to point B if you want to kids to lead the way. Chances are that they are going to stand there and stare at you like you have two heads the first couple of times you try this out. Be persistent, give encouragement, and be patient as your students attempt to understand what you are asking of them.
- Try to have this happen all day; authentic practice. Do you have a team that works with you and the kids? Get them in on the plan. The more practice across different people/locations the better.
- Fade your support as you see independence. Maybe you start of directly behind them, then a few steps behind, and then a few more, and eventually maybe you are at one end of the hallway as they walk down away from you, independently (and then you go cry happy tears in your classroom because you never thought this would happen).
- Buddy your kids up. Doing something scary is lessened with company. If you can, have two of your students walk together. I like to use the prompt "walk with X" to get them to go together.
This seems so simple to me now, that I have often thought– was I literally the last one to make this connection?! If you are reading this and thinking that I can tell you, you are NOT alone.
I find it is so easy to be wrapped up in the daily routines and hustle and bustle of the day - getting from point A to point B that something simple like this can get lost in it all.
SO, I challenge you tell your kids where you all need to go and have them lead you there. See what they do.
Can they navigate the building? Get you there a different way if not the way you always take them? Just look at you?
And if kids walking in the hallway isn't where your kids need to practice independence– what else can you work on? How can you increase student independence and lessen the dependence they have on you?
-Maria
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Cover Photo by note thanun on Unsplash